i touch myself, i touch my ovaries
i woke up in the morning with frickin' bloody sheets. I've told this to everyone but I seriously want to do a study on the relationship between the female menstrual cycle and flatuence/bowel movements. Not that I woke up covered in blood and poop... I've just only noticed that I fart like a crazy mother during my periods. The bacterial flora inhabiting my bowel responsible the lovely gas mixture is somehow correlated to the onset of menstrual necrosis... and I have no clue why.
anyways, i haven't really been updating much for the past little while because i've been so unbelievably overloaded with school, tutoring obligations and more frickin' school. Registration for fall courses is already up and I have no clue what I want to take. I could technically graduate with Simon by april if I took 5 courses per term. The only problem is that I haven't completed my genetics components... and that I've heard was uber killer. In reality, I think I'm just going to take 3 courses a term and then graduate by winter of next year. woo for being in school forever.
posted by Melba Toast @ 10:01 PM
4 Comments:
Bloody sheets... EWWWWWW! You should, like, remember when your last period was. And then, like, pre-emptively start wearing tampons a few days before the expected time is about to hit. Or something...
Maybe the flatulence thing is more related to your food choices? Could be that your wildly fluctuating hormone levels make you crave certain flatulence-producing foods during this time of the month?
And this is officially the first time I've ever talked about the menstrual cycle and flatulence at the same time.
Jamieson - you're such a hero for even daring to go into such topics - the BSc knowledge shines through, lol. A star sticker for effort!
And as for preparing, yeah I know... I should wear sexy diaper pads in preparation. However, a woman should never wear a tampon if there's no menstrual flow - it puts her at risk of T.S.S. (toxic shock syndrome)... thanks staphylococcus <3.
As for flatuence, I think you might be right. I've been living on avocado, egg and tomato salad for the past little while (I'm giving a break for my gonorrhea sandwiches). I will keep this in mind for the next time... but I am uber suspicious b/c my diet doesn't vary that vastly. *chin rub*
I laugh in the face of staphylococcus bacteria. haHAW!
Diapers are hot... But doesn't TSS only happen after hours upon hours of using the same tampon? And isn't it averted by changing said tampon?
Oh god, not egg... That'll do it every time. I guess that main thing to remember is to just stay away from me when you're on your period. For one, we all know that women are FREAKIN' CRAZY at that time. And for two, I could do without all the flatulence. I like to keep that picture in mind that women don't fart... and that their poop smells like roses.
Yup, that's one way you can get TSS. However, if you do find some spare time on the crapper and there's a tampon box with instructions on the side, please take note: the warnings all point to avoiding use of a tampon that is of higher absorbency than what the menstrual flow is.... or avoiding use of tampons when there is no menstrual flow. For some reason, having a super absorbent tampon lodged in one's vag canal = delicious environment for staphylococcus. Anyways, the chances of getting tss are really low, but still - I'm paranoid b/c people do die from it.
And as for frickin' crazy? I'll drink to that... and I'm sure people around me would definately agree, lol. And as for poop smelling like roses? My farts smell like peanuts covered in armpit juice... so in a way, perhaps that would equate to my poop somehow smelling like roses.
o(^_~)V
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