"Sometimes she walks through the village in her
little red dress
all absorbed in restraining herself,
and yet, despite herself, she seems to move
according to the rhythm of her life to come.

She runs a bit, hesitates, stops,
half-turns around...
and, all while dreaming, shakes her head
for or against.

Then she dances a few steps
that she invents and forgets,
no doubt finding out that life
moves on too fast.

It's not so much that she steps out
of the small body enclosing her,
but that all she carries in herself
frolics and ferments.

It's this dress that she'll remember
later in a sweet surrender;
when her whole life is full of risks,
the little red dress will always seem right."

--Rainer Maria Rilke

chica me tipo

[image: Thierry Le Goues]

My goodness, the Caribbean party yesterday was soooo much fun. I met so many new people and the music was good too despite not knowing what most of it was, lol. Never did I think I'd meet people from countries like Ghana or Trinidad. Later on I nearly broke the sink in the monostall (aka the gender neutral bathroom in the SUB) but let's not get into that. I'm down for the next rum garden - the overall energy and atmosphere is so positive. Today I didn't end up getting my polka dot rainboots because they're ridiculously overpriced. However, I did go home with a polka dot shirt and some kick ass items from nepal. wooo

Enrico, the rat

Today I was acquainted with Enrico the stuffed rat. I learned that it's not really a good idea to quickly down half a pitcher of beer before class. My midterms so far have yielded shitty results because of my uber powers unmotivation and procrastination - but it's okay. I know I'm not THAT dumb. I don't regret for a bit choosing to volunteer with SASC, now that things are starting to pick up although it's a huge time commitment. Opportunities for band exposure to public events are available if anyone's interested - just let me know. There's a beer garden with the Caribbean African Association at the SUB tomorrow night and everyone's welcome. On saturday, I'm set on picking up all sorts of interesting things (including polka dot rain boots!). Ahhhh excitement!

the claustrophobic sea

[image: buses]

already, I am feeling the weight
of an overwhelming sadness.
reading letters from anonymous strangers
- these foreign love letters and letters of bitterness.
a blanket, has never felt more welcome.
already, I am feeling the pressure
of expectations outlined in chalk - remember?
where he lay beside you, warm stone in both your bellies.
that satisfaction lingering in both of your mouths, looking at the sky...
that moment,
outlined in chalk.
----------------------------------

Well, all my midterms are done. I feel relieved. I visited Ethel for presumably the last time, yesterday... she's going. Morphine doesn't help anymore. I spent my last half hour with her in a comfortable silence, holding onto her hand as her friend. Her mind is still clear as day, like always, despite not being able to speak or move. I'm going to miss her. 9 years ago, I saw my aunt in the same position. cancer is such a funny thing, eh?

repent

[image: andreas hering]

"Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of they womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death. Amen."

x 10
again.

placid

[images: virtualight]

in the journey of quest
you must go alone
always be eager
to face the pains
it is not heroic
to hasten for the union
it is heroic
to face the separation

--Rumi

cat's cradle

[image: antoine picard]

it's a different way of living and breathing -
i secretly adore it.
--------------------------------------

Furthermore, it feels a little weird to be openly discriminated. Dude, I know how to speak english, there's no need to speak insanely slowly to me. vaffanculo, pooheads >: (

das ist Berlin wie's weint, das ist Berlin wie's lacht

[image: vincent peters; tiu kuik]

oh lady marlene dietrich... I wish you could've sung me a lullaby

to buffalo, this train goes

[image: maproomsystems]

I saw Ali in the afternoon a day after I got the phone call. I was shocked. I cried. I was so used to seeing her animated and full of expression. I didn't recognize her at first but once I saw her blue eyes - now blind, I knew. I spent half an hour alone with her talking as I always did. Reading her one last poem. She cannot move, can barely blink and her speech is just a tiny breath. But the faintest squeeze of the hand, it was everything she needed to convey. A pastor came in and I watched as he said recited prayers. I hugged her daughter and said goodbye. I joined Ethel at the dinner table for a little bit. Her mind is still sharp but her body is failing and admits that she's in pain. I took her down for a smoke as usual and we talked. To Gautam, she says hello. Ali's daughter came down and gave me a small dutch shoe and hugged me again before I left.

I think I need some hospice training.

ponder ponder

[image: mg]

To Cuneo, Milano, Reggio Emilia, Roma, Venice
To the shores of Juno Beach, Normandy
Where else where else, would you take me?
Copacabana and Ibiza?
Ethiopia?

I think I've got the itch to travel.

who's your daddy?

We denken altijd aan je

[image: 2005]

4 years
between reading her poems and her daily bread,
complaining about food and reminiscing the smells of a dutch bakery
she showed me so much of herself - all within a peaceful smile.
But despite always forgetting where she was,
the time period, the people around her,
she never forgot me
- she never forgot to smile.

We denken altijd aan je.
[{Dutch} Our thoughts are with you]

coffee coffee coffee

[image: uvaspina]

this is it, this is moving forward.
I'm not interested in the business of breaking hearts, in falling.
not now, not anytime soon.

These individuals are amazing,
this weekend, enlightening.
Reclaim what was never lost in the first place.
hope, rejuvenated.

there is always hope

[image: vladnvan; vancouver downtown eastside]

"one man's evil is another man's amusement park" --mg

[image: postsecret]

it's all about reclaiming yourself -
your faith
your humanity.
realizing your humaness has never been more terrifying.

have you ever questioned god?
-------------------------------------------------------------

"Est autem fides credere quod nondum vides;
cuius fidei merces est videre quod credis."
--St. Augustine

commercial drive

[image: randominde]

My goodness, I didn't realize Commercial Drive would be so fun. There's such a wide range of different foods and shops from different ethnicities all coexisting on one street. Simon introduced me to real pizza today baked in one of those crazy traditional ovens (it's sooo huge). I must say, I was very impressed. There's no such thing as pepperoni on traditional pizza and as for mozzarella cheese - real mozza is like squishy and apparently super expensive.

The training workshop in the evening was very insightful. It was like a 4 hour sociology discussion about the different forms of oppression that exist in society. The big final paper I wrote last year regarding this was exactly what the focus of this volunteer program is all about - becoming an ally!

like empty similies

[image: Darren Holmes]

Married

"I came back from the funeral and crawled
around the apartment, crying hard,
searching for my wife's hair.
For two months got them from the drain,
from the vacuum cleaner, under the refrigerator,
and off the clothes in the closet.
But after other Japanese women came,
there was no way to be sure which were
hers, and I stopped. A year later,
repotting Michiko's avocado, I find
a long black hair tangled in the dirt."

--Jack Gilbert

doughnuts vs. donuts

[image: granville street with Royce et G]

Man, I never realized that I snore so loud, it's pathetic. As another oddity, I once scared the living crap out of myself thinking there was a rabid raccoon under my bed because of these terrifying screeching sounds I heard in. Turns out, it was my stomach growling, lol.. I seriously can't feel it growl, just hear it.

Anyways, I've got my first biochemistry midterm in less than 12 hours. Friday Saturday Sunday is all volunteer training with SASC. I'm sorta excited because I promised myself I'd do advocacy work as a feminist (contrary to the monophonic shit Semone said to me in April). In short, this weekend and next week = sleep deprivation schedule. 4 midterms, yo.

For halloween, I think I want to be a periwinkle snail thing. If not, I'll just dig up crap from closet like I do every year and call it a costume, I don't know.

In the mean time, it's time for some hot zymogen action of the pancreas.

This week's stuff

[image: pbf]

san dian er shi san fen

[image: uvaspina]

Wo men de ai xiang yao shenme?
Ta shi…
Ta shi…
Ta shi… wo dou bu zhidao.
Wo shi yi ge niu ren zai nan ren de jian…
zai ta de ai…
Ming tian ne?
Xia yue, xia nian, wo bu zhidao ru guo wo ai ni…dan shi
Wo xiang ai ni de jian.
Ni bu zhidao wo shuo shenme... dan shi...
wo...

in the quiet absence of entropy

[image: Jochen van Eden]

a mug of hot ginseng,
and the evening
becomes dawn.

along the shores of ambleside

[image: denouement]

really, there is nothing more
than to take one step.
and that one step, is all you need
to start a revolution.

canary yellow

[image: Andrea Giacobbe]

"At least you'll never be a vegetable — even artichokes have hearts." --A

12-step recovery program

[image: zojirushi]

Just so you know, what you're reading is the complete and relentless story of an addict. Because in most twelve-step recovery programs, the fourth step makes you take inventory of your life. Every lame, suck-ass moment of your life, you have to get a notebook and write it down. A complete inventory of your crimes. That way, every sin is right at your fingertips. Then you have to fix it all. This goes for alcoholics, drug abusers, and overeaters, as well as sex addicts.
This way you can go back and reveiw the worst of your life any time you want.
Because supposedly, those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- Chuck Palahniuk; Choke

subtle

[image: Eddie O'Bryan]

"I wish I understood the beauty
in leaves falling. To whom
are we beautiful
as we go?"

--David Ignatow

shhhhh

[image: G. Colbert]

ciao for now,
temporarily.

help please

Ahhhhhh, super uber adorable-ness x 100
Can someone help suggest a name for Gautam's new kitten?
It's a boy with the most amazing blue eyes <3

of wolves and rabbits with myxomatosis

keep looking through the window pane

[image: sixsixsex]
[currently listening to: Groove Armada - Hands of Time]

"keep looking through the window pane
just trying to see through the pouring rain
its hearing your name, hearing your name
I never really felt quite the same, since I've lost what I had to gain
No one to blame, no one to blame
Seems to me, cant turn back the hands of time
Oh it seems to me, cant turn back the hands of time"
--Groove Armada, Hands of Time

---------------------------
maybe it wasn't such a good idea
to bite a slice of this watery past
in an attempt to be strong,
like glass.
i feel as though i'll cut myself
from shards, fragments
walking through it.
these deja vu miles.
----------------------------

autumn,
stop me in my tracks.

angry prof

what do you think?