Exclusively inconclusive

When I peer into this bohemian globe of red,
what will you think of me?

Relative to yourself| I am| what you want to believe.
Exclusive| and| static.
2nd best|,|always your favourite.

Relative to myself, I am what I want to believe.
Just,
loose words.

I feel like swallowing -
And digesting myself whole.
I want to be whole.

words that reap no action
yield fields of empty husks.