embryo salad

[image: postsecret]
[currently listening to: lovage - everyone has a summer]

this is ridiculous. i think the government's lost my passport because it's been 4 months since the damn thing was processed. so much for lining up for 5 hours in the cold at the passport office... should've gone to sinclair centre. i can't wait until i'm done this blasted paper so i can finally enjoy what's left of this summer. i'm going to miss this class though - everyone was reluctant to leave after the final exam yesterday, choosing instead to just stay behind and talk with the prof. anyone who's interested in doing some dying with natural dyes this august is welcome to later on this month. there's still another field trip to the granville island brewery lined up before school starts in fall. i should've brought in a big bottle of rum for the class on friday for my presentation... ohhhhh well, too late.

okay, time to get back to work. >_>

it's noontime at night

[image: lungston]
[currently listening to: edwin - hang ten]

i want to 2-dimensionalize you.

I have the biggest canker sore on the side of my mouth and it is absolutely excruciating. It all precipitated when I stupidly bit myself twice in the same spot. Eating hurts, talking is uncomfortable and I tear up whenever I apply any pressure to the area. Benzocaine is the best invention ever.

the aphthous ulcers

[image: buses]
[currently listening to: najat aatabou - just tell me]

i am incapable of studying.
The last day of class was on friday and all we did was present our presentations or posters and hammered back on tequila and sake with fellow classmates and professor. I came home with more plants so I'm super excited to take care of them. one more final and a paper to write and them I'm done!!

desperation

[image: chernow]

desperate times call for desperate measures.
screw it, I'll try it.

gametophyte --> sporophyte

[image: sunlight]

my mom said the words "cock sucking" and "pussy" in the same sentence today.
I want to wash my ears out and pretend that I didn't hear a thing.
ahhhhhhhh.

In other news, I fell asleep studying again... which means winging another exam! I don't know whether to eat my salad for lunch... I bought discount spinach over a day ago and made a huge ass salad with it but my tummy feels really off after stealing a few big bites while making it... the greens were mushy funny smelling at the bottom of the bag... should've used it for cooking instead of raw eating :S I hate wasting food therefore I will eat it and risk horking everything up in lab this afternoon.

So... wrong.

sweetest gur

[images: sara bruko]

even the sweetest loaf of gur
cannot compare -
delicate fingers and salty tears
evenings spent
in rapture, riding waves
and capsizing
to the gates of atlantis.

a quiescent evening

[image: ourladyofroses]

Precognition

Living backwards means only
I must suffer everything twice.
Those picnics were already loss:
with the dragonflies and the clear streams halfway.

What good did it do me to know
how far along you would come with me
and when you return?
To yourself, to a life you call daily.

You did not consider me a soul
but a landscape, not even one
I recognize as mine, but foreign
and rich in curious:
an egg of blue marble,
a dried pod,
a clay goddess you picked up at a stall
somewhere among the dun and dust-green
hills and the bronze-hot
sun and the odd shadows,

not knowing what would be protection,
or even the need for it then.

I wake in the early dawn and there is the roadway
shattered, and the glass and blood,
from an intersection that has happened
already, though I can't say when.
Simply that it will happen.

What could I tell you now that would keep you
safe or warn you?
What good would it do?
Live and be happy.

I would rather cut myself loose
from time, shave off my fair
and stand at a crossroads
with a wooden bowl, throwing
myself on the dubious mercy
of the present, which is innocent
and forgetful and hits the eye bare

and without words and without even love
than do this mourning over.

-- Margaret Atwood

if only daiyo kangoku were like this

1,500 plus CPDRC inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines.

claiming the empire

[image: from some random Russian magazine]

I just got back from a huge wedding with roughly over 700 guests in attendance. One of the girls from my high school got married to the heir of a huge well-known business empire so I don't think that I'll ever come across anything like this ever again, lol. But I have to admit, the bride was absolutely stunning and jaw-droppingly beautiful. She IS what I consider a real model, not like those snobby girls who call themselves high-end "models" after being shot into a frickin' Sears catalogue. What a fairy tale come true. Being that the wedding was in the modern Chinese style, we were served an 9 course-meal starting with barbeque pork (piglets), stuffed crab claws, geoduck, lobster, abalone, shark-fin soup, whole chicken, rock cod fish and yin-yang honeymoon fried rice. I know, endangered species alert but what can one do... it's such a rare experience. Everything that we eat has some sort of symbolic meaning... the 9 dishes for instance, represent "eternity" or "forever"... it's a good luck number. The more traditional matters took place in the morning. Prior to dinner was the tea ceremony which I wasn't able to attend. Throughout the evening, banging on plates or glasses summons the couple to kiss. Various games were played throughout the evening and more contemporary activities were like catching the bouquet. The wedding would've been more fun if I knew more guests intimately but alas, coordinating so many people is just impossible. Perhaps it was for the better because being hit on by little high school boys with free access to the open bar is just a laugh riot, not to mention, annoying. Overall, attending this shin-dig was definitely a fun experience. I hope for the best for the bride and groom... but man, the bride was just soooooo gorgeous. I'm in love with her dresses. I'd want to get a "cheung sam" made if I ever get hitched. Weddings are fun, I want to attend more weddings from other cultures just to get the experience. *squeal squeal girly moment*

la Fée Verte

[currently listening to: amon tobin - nightfire]

now I understand why botanists have so much frickin' fun, lol. Today's lab involved examining various medicinal plants - from those that stimulate, those that depress, those that claim to cure various ailments in ancient medicines, teas, coffees and plants that mind-alter. Of course, being that the entire lab was interactive, our prof of course provided a whole concoction of different liquors. Only in biology 343 is there an excuse to drink rum and 70% absinthe derived from the real wormwood. Coca-cola used to contain cocaine in its ingredients and no doubt, the class was fun.

Here's an example look-see into the world of the Betel nut which is used in Asian cultures (ie. religious offerings in India or as a cultural activity in southeast Asia). It's usually chewed and causes INTENSE salivation and over time, stains the teeth and lips red. Apparently colours are enhanced a little and causes euphoria because of the presence of psychoactive alkaloids. But wtf, I've never heard of betel nut girls in Taiwan! They just sell chewable prepared leaves and nuts to customers in scantily clad clothes (in some parts, they pole dance during religious ceremonies). However betel nuts are a known carcinogen and are highly addictive so we weren't allowed to try it out - the whole preparation was ready though.



Of course, there IS some scientific learning... In the last hour our of lab, we just chose a bunch of plants to perform extractions for antibiotic assays that we're doing next class. My partner and I decided to extract from opium latex and immature seeds, real wormwood, cortisone leaves and a few others. And before departing, another round of rum!

"Fatti i cazzi tuoi, ca campi cent'anni."

[currently listening to: the pixies - where is my mind]

edit - redundant post but I'm too lazy to delete

Tuesday night was interesting... I went out for dinner with simon and his mum at a french restaurant in north vancouver which was all pleasant until the end - an explosion of angry verbal exchanges in italian, french and english between the owner and our side. All I have to say is that the owner is just a straight out asshole and had no grounds for belitting honest paying customers. I guess the whole ordeal would've been less scary if I understood most of what what being said because if the same sort of situation took place in my language, it wouldn't have been so intimidating (cantonese is the birthplace of super swearing). I just hope I don't come across something like this in France. I don't think such free exchanges would be as prevalent in Italy (especially in the south) given that no one knows who the heck is connected with whom since the mafia is still in strong operation (I shit you not).

Following dinner, simon, aki and I polished off a bottle of cider and large carton of sake... blargh, not exactly the best idea when there's school the following morning. The evening was fun though, lol.

Anyways, school so far has been really fun. Plants are actually really interesting. Dr. Ellis is by far the best professor I've come across at ubc. She's helped me collect insects for fun in preparation for entomology in the fall. Identifying plants with the proper field guide is actually really fun. Labs are composed of eating all sorts of plant materials... I always come home with seeds, insects, plants and food. It's interesting how different cultures use different plants for various uses. If you're looking for an interesting upper level course with science credit, I highly recommend this class even if you're in arts or any other program. School ends next week... I don't know what I'm going to be doing in August. I want to finally start picking up Italian but we'll see.

buona notte m'dears.

[image: strokethyfrost]

just go where the wind takes you...
it's amazing to take that risk.
-----------------------

too much sake and cider wine before bedtime... some chefs are just COMPLETE assholes, it's amazing. All of a sudden, france just seems like a scary place to go to.

with my forehead

[image: __notable]

Le Front aux Vitres

Le front aux vitres comme font les veilleurs de chagrin
Ciel dont j'ai dépassé la nuit
Plaines toutes petites dans mes mains ouvertes
Dans leur double horizon, inerte indifférent

Le front aux vitres comme font les veilleurs de chagrin
Je te cherche par-delà l'attente
Par-delà moi-même
Et je ne sais plus tant je t'aime
Lequel de nous deux est absent.

--Paul Eluard

la femme fatale

[image: steven klein; editorial for W]

I swear to you it won't hurt a bit
because in every way, you remind me of me.

to the saints of the cherry tree

[image: strokethyfrost]

I wonder if each of those pussies felt different each time you stuck your dick into a different hole.

fighting tooth and claw

[currently listening to: najat aatabou - just tell me the truth]

ah fux, the matt good show in vancouver has been sold out already. I'm just crossing my fingers that more dates will be announced. from now on I just plan on attending these shows on my own given that force-dragging certain individuals to these events just absolutely ruins the evening. >: (

The celebration of light fireworks are coming up:
july 25 - spain
july 28 - canada
aug 1 - china
aug 4 - finale <<--- (it's my birthday!)

I'm probably not going to be available for the spain one given that I've got a final at the end of the week. The rest of it should be fun for the hell of it. Does anyone have any boats or available kayaks? The experience should be different on water than it is to be packed on land... but then again being run over by drunken boat drivers doesn't seem too fun either.

monday... I don't know anymore... simon's probably going to do the grind again and I refuse to join along since i'm hardly in any shape to do it... the rest of his crew most likely climb the darn mountain everyday. *sigh* he really should date someone more athletic - I only get depressed, lol.

tuesday's forecast looks like absolute shit for the beach... I haven't yet been to one this summer... wreck beach is off limits and school ends too late to go to any other available place. oh well... bitter bitter - no point in scaring everyone off anyways, lol. I guess I'll wait until august.

فراموشم مکن

[image: jane; circa summer 2006]
[currently listening to: bonobo - days to come (ft. bajka)]

today was gloriously wonderful.
simon woke me up early this morning and took me to bowen island for a day out kayaking and picnic-ing with his homemade sandwiches. the day was hot, the water was calm and a warm breeze just compounded the awesome-ness. I've never been kayaking before so this experience was really fun - such quintessential west coast canadiana. My arms and back are probably going to be in extreme pain tomorrow. At the moment, my legs are dead because I've decided to take up biking again as a means of transportation (and to save money) instead of for just leisure. Yesterday's bike ride from ubc to west van doesn't actually take too long (about an hour) given the heavy heavy car traffic that was jammed up in the downtown core and the kits area. I just think that I'd need to convert to a road bike to be able to traverse distances easier. today really cheered me up :)

now to get started on writing this silly proposal on my term paper. sugar (as derived from sugarcane) is going to be the focus of my research. So often has our focus been on the food science behind sugar but what is little known are the ethical conditions (slavery), politics, economics and environmental impact of producing what the western and eu countries consider as a major food staple.

as for general bike trips - I'm not really free for anything during the week but weekends are always good... more information about this later.

pearl in the oyster

[image: strokethyfrost]

So yesterday Phil and I ordered about 60+ raw oysters and I know I downed OVER half of them. I don't think I'll be touching another raw oyster for a full year at least - my mercury levels have probably spiked like crazy. The casino is boring as hell and full of creepy ass middle aged dudes and I still don't know how anything in those establishments work. I only helped myself to free water and matches, lol.

I wished that courses were offered in UBC during the month of august because I am so tired of school, albeit the course that I am taking right now is extremely interesting. I just want a breather... a week of nothingness or something because 6 hours of school during the week (not including the time it takes to commute) is extremely disorienting. That is the main reason why I haven't had the time to update this blog.

Highlights...
Canada Day was spent in complete sobriety watching fireworks with a small crowd, which was nice because last year was just a haze of small town drunken-ness...
Went to the "Monet to Dali" exhibition at the Vancouver Art Gallery. I've never seen a real painting by any of those artists I studied and did projects on throughout high school so it was kinda cool. I wouldn't mind going there again - this is for Beaty's sake because I feel bad for not being able to wait for him after his work. Tuesdays evenings from 5-9 pm are entry by donation - just get there half an hour early and you'll pretty much get in no problem.
Caitlin's moved to commercial drive so I can go visit her!
School school and more school. Plants are actually kick ass. Simon and I went to lynne valley for a small hike-ish walk to identify plants and trees with a field guide for fun yesterday.
More all-you-can effing eat is really just a terrible idea... because in my mind, I'm always eating beyond satiation to get my "money's worth" - hence the ridiculous amounts of oysters consumed... they just started tasting like slime towards the end. As for my poo... well, let's just leave it to the imagination.
I have 2 assignments and a quiz due tomorrow... I just want to sleep for 12 hours straight. My mom has a way to keep me up until 4 am just talking and making me cry and feel like shit about my future. No matter what parents say, they will always compare how successful "so and so's kid" is compared to you. In short, my future will pretty much amount to nothing so my siblings have it good. yippee
I am feeling really overwhelmed financially and I can't help but feel jealous about all the little luxuries some of my peers have but don't realize it. I know I should never complain but I guess there's a reason why traveling and school are considered luxuries. It is not a crime to be rich. I have no concept of what a vacation is or what it means to visit a different country (aside from the US). My savings have dwindled yet again to pay for school and to lend to my parents. I have no clue how the hell I'm supposed to establish my independence and finally move out given the cost of living in vancouver. i am just tired. i am not wonderwoman - i don't have impeccable marks, i don't speak different languages, i don't have mobility as constrained by my cultural background, i am not well networked, i don't have talent... i just simply don't have an ambitious enough of a dream. otherwise why the hell am i sitting here complaining?

perhaps my binging addiction stems from my inability to control my surroundings.

"Tutte le strade portano a Roma."

[image: cole rise]
[currently listening to: seatbelts - cosmos]

the desire to run these hands over the rough bricks of the colosseum
walk the paved roads that this great empire once stood on
and contemplate the air that these people would have breathed...

----------------------------------------

...this is just too weird.
Just what the hell are the chances? I just hope we don't cross paths this way.

amazingness

the photoshop smudge tool

dumbo octopus

vancouver art gallery @ 6 pm (admission by donation)
give me a call if you want to join along... the current exhibition is "monet to dali"
:)