coming to the presence of water

[image: flipe]

I apologize to everyone if I’ve been acting a little… off. Despite activities and events, they’re merely placeholders to keep me busy throughout the weeks. With euphemisms tossed aside, I guess I’ll just be somewhat unabashed for once.

First and foremost, I am so sick with worry and stress. I’m always wondering “what if” this and “what if” that. Hearing the voices and words of strangers have moved mountains in the past few days. Many thanks to Erek and Yukiko.

On the health side of things, I’ve had a couple of scares, but everything’s checked out and I’m fine. Less than two weeks ago, I went through a week of mysterious gastrointestinal bleeding (I was pooping blood). After shuttling between different medical clinics, the prognosis was mild diverticulosis, which goes away after awhile. So all is well in that department.

On the emotional side of things, I’ve been everywhere. A friend of mine had called me out of desperation a couple of weeks ago. His drug use was spiralling out of control and he was at a very low point at his life… Aside from an ear, all I can say is that I’m glad I left a number for him to call because he used it. The appearance of quiet normalcy is dangerous. He had left subtle hints of alluding to something far worse. But I’ll leave it at that.

And lastly, I miss certain people… terribly.
I hate the assumption that any of you are “replaceable”. How I relate to you is independent from how I relate to others.

So pardon me if I act a little strange, a little quiet, a little off or whatever deviation from the typical me these days. I am still regrouping. And if you’re ever wondering, please just ask. If you’re going to ridicule me, just say it to me, honestly… or preferably, yell it at my face.