"I know he's not mine. But I love him anyways."

Will you help me build steam with a grain of salt?

I no longer have secrets to hide or jealousies to confront. It's all kind of fruitless, y'know? I have to admit, I've treated some guys to lunch or coffee/hot chocolate at school or been treated for dinner a couple of times. They were all sweet in their own respects but I guess I 've only gone that way to get some perspective on where I stand right now. When I sit down and think about it, I never sought out male company for the purpose of finding a click, spark or an excuse to leave what I'm in now. I guess it's stupid to get frustrated over the fact I can't commit to what I truly want due to circumstances beyond my control. But that's part of my life.

I have no regrets and I'm happy with life thus far. I shouldn't have to question or be left in wonder because I trust him. Relationship dynamics change I guess. Above all, despite how greedy this sounds, you've gotta be honest to yourself.